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The important thing was to love rather than to be loved. Options
Daemon
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 12:00:00 AM
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The important thing was to love rather than to be loved.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)
GabhSigenod
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 7:39:31 AM

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Location: Mulroog, Connaught, Ireland
The old college try.

Mise, tá mé lán de dea-fhortún.
Jean_extraterre
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 9:17:14 AM
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Joined: 5/14/2011
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Location: exoplanet Gliese 876 d


He went through an elaborate form of stamping his foot and walking about. Then he stood in front of the fire so that she should not resume her position. While she talked he thought that she was worth ten of Mildred; she amused him much more and was jollier to talk to; she was cleverer, and she had a much nicer nature. She was a good, brave, honest little woman; and Mildred, he thought bitterly, deserved none of these epithets. If he had any sense he would stick to Norah, she would make him much happier than he would ever be with Mildred: after all she loved him, and Mildred was only grateful for his help. But when all was said the important thing was to love rather than to be loved; and he yearned for Mildred with his whole soul. He would sooner have ten minutes with her than a whole afternoon with Norah, he prized one kiss of her cold lips more than all Norah could give him.

"I can't help myself," he thought. "I've just got her in my bones."

He did not care if she was heartless, vicious and vulgar, stupid and grasping, he loved her. He would rather have misery with the one than happiness with the other.


This is the scene in W. Somerset Maugham's "Of Human Bondage" describing the protagonist Philip and his struggle to choose between Norah Nesbitt (a nice and educated writer) and Mildred (a gaudy waitress he had first met at a cafe and who had already abandoned him once).
--- After more adventures, rather than pursuing his lofty artistic, philosophical, and travelling ambitions, eventually Philip decides to settle into a more "bourgeois" life:


He realised that he had deceived himself; it was no self-sacrifice that had driven him to think of marrying, but the desire for a wife and a home and love; and now that it all seemed to slip through his fingers he was seized with despair. He wanted all that more than anything in the world. What did he care for Spain and its cities, Cordova, Toledo, Leon; what to him were the pagodas of Burmah and the lagoons of South Sea Islands? America was here and now. It seemed to him that all his life he had followed the ideals that other people, by their words or their writings, had instilled into him, and never the desires of his own heart. Always his course had been swayed by what he thought he should do and never by what he wanted with his whole soul to do. He put all that aside now with a gesture of impatience. He had lived always in the future, and the present always, always had slipped through his fingers. His ideals? He thought of his desire to make a design, intricate and beautiful, out of the myriad, meaningless facts of life: had he not seen also that the simplest pattern, that in which a man was born, worked, married, had children, and died, was likewise the most perfect? It might be that to surrender to happiness was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories.
thar
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 9:26:19 AM

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Daemon has got a thing for 'Of human bondage' hasn't he? Is someone going to tell him that is not what Mrs Daemon meant?
sisikou
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 9:49:25 AM

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Location: Taiwan
Well said, Thar Whistle

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth
AJC
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 10:20:18 AM

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Location: United States, Michigan
I think Daemon has himself tied in knots.

Feed Your Head-Grace Slick
Franzel Marie
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 11:22:05 AM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 4/13/2011
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Location: Philippines
WEIRD.



Angel

thar
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 11:27:52 AM

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Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 18,400
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well after that awful definition of domesticated as 'adapting plants and land to the environment!!' he deserves a thorough spanking!!
jcbarros
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 11:44:15 AM

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Daemon is a he or a she? With or without?
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 12:01:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Nat Cole knew...

Nature Boy

Sanity is not statistical
floyd
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 12:10:24 PM
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Joined: 5/22/2011
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Location: United States
Don't be too hard on Daemon. I loved reading Waugh,too, when I was young and confused.



“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
jcbarros
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 1:58:55 PM

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... And then one day, a magic day he came my way...Think
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 4:45:08 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,981
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
floyd wrote:
Don't be too hard on Daemon. I loved reading Waugh,too, when I was young and confused.



Waugh, Good God y'all,
What is it good for ?...


Sanity is not statistical
SKORPIAN77
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 5:41:59 PM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 10/13/2010
Posts: 2
Neurons: 6
Location: United States
Jean_extraterre wrote:


He went through an elaborate form of stamping his foot and walking about. Then he stood in front of the fire so that she should not resume her position. While she talked he thought that she was worth ten of Mildred; she amused him much more and was jollier to talk to; she was cleverer, and she had a much nicer nature. She was a good, brave, honest little woman; and Mildred, he thought bitterly, deserved none of these epithets. If he had any sense he would stick to Norah, she would make him much happier than he would ever be with Mildred: after all she loved him, and Mildred was only grateful for his help. But when all was said the important thing was to love rather than to be loved; and he yearned for Mildred with his whole soul. He would sooner have ten minutes with her than a whole afternoon with Norah, he prized one kiss of her cold lips more than all Norah could give him.

"I can't help myself," he thought. "I've just got her in my bones."

He did not care if she was heartless, vicious and vulgar, stupid and grasping, he loved her. He would rather have misery with the one than happiness with the other.


This is the scene in W. Somerset Maugham's "Of Human Bondage" describing the protagonist Philip and his struggle to choose between Norah Nesbitt (a nice and educated writer) and Mildred (a gaudy waitress he had first met at a cafe and who had already abandoned him once).
--- After more adventures, rather than pursuing his lofty artistic, philosophical, and travelling ambitions, eventually Philip decides to settle into a more "bourgeois" life:


He realised that he had deceived himself; it was no self-sacrifice that had driven him to think of marrying, but the desire for a wife and a home and love; and now that it all seemed to slip through his fingers he was seized with despair. He wanted all that more than anything in the world. What did he care for Spain and its cities, Cordova, Toledo, Leon; what to him were the pagodas of Burmah and the lagoons of South Sea Islands? America was here and now. It seemed to him that all his life he had followed the ideals that other people, by their words or their writings, had instilled into him, and never the desires of his own heart. Always his course had been swayed by what he thought he should do and never by what he wanted with his whole soul to do. He put all that aside now with a gesture of impatience. He had lived always in the future, and the present always, always had slipped through his fingers. His ideals? He thought of his desire to make a design, intricate and beautiful, out of the myriad, meaningless facts of life: had he not seen also that the simplest pattern, that in which a man was born, worked, married, had children, and died, was likewise the most perfect? It might be that to surrender to happiness was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories.
Jai Majala
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 7:30:26 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 2/28/2011
Posts: 82
Neurons: 246
Location: United States
excaelis wrote:
floyd wrote:
Don't be too hard on Daemon. I loved reading Waugh,too, when I was young and confused.



Waugh, Good God y'all,
What is it good for ?...


Absolutely...? Nothing? That's not what the fascists thought...
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 9:04:05 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,981
Neurons: 32,652
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Yeah, EW did make a bit of a prat of himself from time to time.

Sanity is not statistical
Marissa La Faye Isolde
Posted: Wednesday, June 1, 2011 12:40:45 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/10/2009
Posts: 1,648
Neurons: 4,678
I think in reference to the title of S. Maugham's novel: "Of Human Bondage", the bondage part is about loving someone (in this case, one who is unworthy of you) who does not love you in return. Yet, despite this, you can not stop loving the person that you love; no matter how deep the despair, or how great the pain of suffering you endure, or how badly...or callously you are treated. And whatever it is that inspires love, love is not dependent on being loved...And, no matter how profoundly one loves another, one's love can not make a person love you. And finally, love is not inspired by perfection; nor what is proper or acceptable.
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