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"Who's On First?" Options
hedy mmm
Posted: Monday, March 06, 2017 9:57:12 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 769
Neurons: 332,757
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
"Who's On First?" Sketch was performed by Abbott & Costello...please read Monday, March 6th, "Today's Birthday" of Lou Costello.

The names given in the routine for the players at each position are:
First Base: Who
Second Base: What
Third Base: I Don't Know
Left field: Why
Center field: Because
Pitcher: Tomorrow
Catcher:Today
Shortstop: I Don't Care/I Don't Give a Darn

The name of the shortstop is not given until the very end of the routine, and the right fielder is neveridentified. In the Selchow and Righter board game, the right fielder's name is "Nobody".

At one point in the routine, Costello thinks that Naturally is the first baseman:

Abbott: You throw the ball to first base.
Costello: Then who gets it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Well, that's it—say it that way.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You did not.
Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott's explanations leave Costello hopelessly confused and infuriated, until the end of the routinewhen Costello finally appears to catch on.
Costello: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Whopicks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back toTomorrow—a triple play.
Abbott: Yeah, it could be.
Costello: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third, and Idon't give a darn!
Abbott: What was that?
Costello: I said, I DON'T GIVE A DARN!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop!

The skit was usually performed on the team's radio series at the start of the baseball season. In one instance it serves as a climax for a broadcast which begins with Costello receiving a telegram from Joe DiMaggio asking Costello to take over for him due to his injury. (In this case, the unidentified rightfielder would have been Costello himself. However, this is unlikely, seeing how DiMaggio was a centerfielder, which is Because in this skit.)

THIS THREAD IS IN MEMORY OF JOE DIMAGGIO, BUD ABBOTT & LOU COSTELLO....May they Rest in Peace.......hedy
Pray


"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Monday, March 06, 2017 10:00:21 PM
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Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 365
Neurons: 2,348
Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
It is a funny sketch even to someone like me who does not know baseball at all.


I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
Eoin Riedy
Posted: Monday, March 06, 2017 11:18:19 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/28/2016
Posts: 114
Neurons: 674
Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States
The President of China is Xi Jinping. His surname Xi is pronounced like the word 'she' in a rising tone.

Abbott: Now the first thing you need to know is that Xi is the President of China.
Costello: Who is she?
Abbott: No. Xi was Hu's vice-president.
Costello: Whose vice-president was she?
Abbott: Exactly. Now Xi is the president.
Costello: The president of China is a woman?
Abbott: No, Xi is a man.
Costello: Who is a man?
Abbott: He is, too.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Right.
srirr
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 1:53:30 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 4,660
Neurons: 52,864
Location: Delhi, NCT, India
Ha Ha Ha Ha,.......Applause
That's interesting, in fact, hilarious. This reminds me of an quite old joke (with due respect to all)...

It was when George W. Bush was the US President and Hu Jintao was the newly elected leader of China and Kofi Annan was Secretary General of the UN.

Scene: The Oval Office. Conversation between George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu。
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' ask me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too.
========================

We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. ~ Swami Vivekanand
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 3:43:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 37,069
Neurons: 226,557
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Thank you all for the laughs ;-)


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
OnTheVerge
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 3:49:41 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/7/2014
Posts: 190
Neurons: 287,734
Location: San Francisco, California, United States
srirr wrote:
Ha Ha Ha Ha,.......Applause
That's interesting, in fact, hilarious. This reminds me of an quite old joke (with due respect to all)...

It was when George W. Bush was the US President and Hu Jintao was the newly elected leader of China and Kofi Annan was Secretary General of the UN.

Scene: The Oval Office. Conversation between George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu。
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' ask me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too.
========================




Think Whistle Applause Applause Applause Whistle Whistle Whistle BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO Dancing Dancing Applause Whistle Applause Dancing Whistle Applause Think

Men grow tired of sleep, love, drink, singing, and dancing sooner than war!
TheParser
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 7:45:07 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 3,765
Neurons: 17,832
I join other members and guests, Hedy, in thanking you for this post.

That dialogue (along with the dialogues contributed by other members) was hilarious.

Thanks for helping us to start off the day with a smile and a laugh.
hedy mmm
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 10:01:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 769
Neurons: 332,757
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
TheParser wrote:
I join other members and guests, Hedy, in thanking you for this post.
That dialogue (along with the dialogues contributed by other members) was hilarious.
Thanks for helping us to start off the day with a smile and a laugh.


Thank you TheParser, yes it was a wonderful way to remember Lou Costello's birthday.

Thanks OnTheVerge, srirr and Eoin Riedy on your additions...they were very funny...I'm going to share them.

Sarrriesfan, thank you for your comment....it's never too late to learn about baseball....I don't particularly like the game (did I say that out loud?)...I prefer soccer or even football, however my son is an electrician (journeyman) and he is assigned to Yankee Stadium (which is in the Bronx), because he's not distracted by the game when he's working!

So, in case my son, finds out I'm not an allout Yankee fan, I will say "YANKEES ARE BORING...I MEAN, YANKEES ARE THE BEST"...Dancing Dancing so no squealin'! Silenced

"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 10:08:01 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 365
Neurons: 2,348
Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
hedy mmm wrote:
TheParser wrote:
I join other members and guests, Hedy, in thanking you for this post.
That dialogue (along with the dialogues contributed by other members) was hilarious.
Thanks for helping us to start off the day with a smile and a laugh.


Thank you TheParser, yes it was a wonderful way to remember Lou Costello's birthday.

Thanks OnTheVerge, srirr and Eoin Riedy on your additions...they were very funny...I'm going to share them.

Sarrriesfan, thank you for your comment....it's never too late to learn about baseball....I don't particularly like the game (did I say that out loud?)...I prefer soccer or even football, however my son is an electrician (journeyman) and he is assigned to Yankee Stadium (which is in the Bronx), because he's not distracted by the game when he's working!

So, in case my son, finds out I'm not an allout Yankee fan, I will say "YANKEES ARE BORING...I MEAN, YANKEES ARE THE BEST"...Dancing Dancing so no squealin'! Silenced


A funny sketch is a funny sketch, and I have always like Abbot and Costello.

The sport I follow is Rugby Union, my team is Saracens Rugby Football Club, hence my screen name
There is not a lot of baseball here in the UK, some I guess but the bat and ball game most play is cricket, nothing like spending 5 days watching a Test match that can be rained off as a draw at the end.Whistle



I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
Ashwin Joshi
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 10:51:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/3/2016
Posts: 787
Neurons: 59,601
Location: Jandiāla Guru, Punjab, India
Excellent Grammar.

Me Gathering Pebbles at the Beach..-Aj
FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 11:59:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 7,665
Neurons: 40,098
Excellent! Love a good laugh.

A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
Andrew Schultz
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 2:31:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/7/2015
Posts: 188
Neurons: 380,030
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
Can we fit one more in here? I've seen this various places & hope others enjoy it too.

http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/hlife.html

Quote:
This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.


I particularly enjoy the idiom section of this fine website.
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 2:48:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,353
Neurons: 32,961
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Ah the good memories! And some new skits here too!

Sometimes the longest way around is the shortest way home. Anon
almo 1
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 3:00:24 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/16/2016
Posts: 299
Neurons: 1,246
Location: Fussa, Tokyo, Japan
thar
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 7:08:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 14,702
Neurons: 58,100
At the risk of comedic approbium, and with all respect to Mssrs A and C and all those who love this, can I say, just out of cultural interest, that I don't find that sketch particularly funny? A thin joke worn a bit too hard, a dislikable aggressive character?
(No offence, and I certainly don't mean to be a downer on a humorous thread - I am just interested to know if this is a cultural thing. )
The thing is, I find most things funny (even those not meant to be) - I think I may have seen some A and C I found humorous [ mummies, is it?Think ] but it clearly mad no great impression - but certain icons of comedy just leave me naah, - this from A and C, the Three Stooges, and, dare I state this here, Charlie Chaplin? Don't do it for me. Too aggressive, too manipulative? Too something.

Big fan of Harold Lloyd for the physical, and I guess Laurel and Hardy for pathos; but for wordplay, not much beats the Marx brothers.Whistle

I am sure there are loads of examples better than this, but it came up first.
https://youtu.be/p0Gwe5gKgjo
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