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Do you think sex addition is really an addiction, like other kinds of addictions? Options
Chazlee
Posted: Friday, August 5, 2016 4:22:49 PM
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Although I am not really a person who enjoys reading about the lives of celebrities, recently it seems that musician Ozzy Osborne from Black Sabbath has stated that he is a sex addict. He admitted this after he got caught having a long time affair with a woman, even though he was and still is married.

While I can easily believe that a person can enjoy doing almost anything, when I hear of someone having a sex addiction I seem to view it differently than someone being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or even smoking. Actually, since sex is such a pleasurable experience with no inherently negative side effects, as long as the person is not having random sex with multiple partners, then I do wonder if it should be categorized as an addiction at all?

It would be great to get other people's opinions about this.

Please excuse me if I have posted this in the wrong forum. It is related to a psychological condition (if one believes it is that), so I posted it here. However, please let me know if I am posting this in the wrong place.

https://us.yahoo.com/celebrity/celebrities-sex-addictions-just-excuse-000000310.html


Peace.
taurine
Posted: Friday, August 5, 2016 6:11:16 PM

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What is the number of people who had recently bought music made by the Deep Purple? Sorry, Black Sabbath. My Liquid Soul is not at all better.

war

J'ai perdu mes amis en Afrique durant la dernière semaine de 2017
Chazlee
Posted: Friday, August 5, 2016 6:28:21 PM
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taurine wrote:
What is the number of people who had recently bought music made by the Deep Purple? Sorry, Black Sabbath. My Liquid Soul is not at all better.

war


Sorry but I really don't understand your post at all. While I am familiar with the music of Deep Purple, and Black Sabbath, I really don't know Liquid Soul, which may be the problem. Anyways

Peace.
mactoria
Posted: Saturday, August 6, 2016 3:30:40 AM
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Chazlee: Don't understand the early responses you got, so I'll just take your posting as serious.

I look at sex addiction with a mix of just personal thinking and decades in the human/social/health field. I think sex addiction is like any other addiction: some people truly have a disorder and some people use it as an excuse for intentional inappropriate behavior so as to avoid negative consequences. Dr Stanger in the article you linked to calls it a "process disorder" which I suppose has support in clinical diagnostic research. Some people's brain circuitry are wired to require something that inordinate frequency and/or socially inappropriate partners provides them: sexual release, emotional gratification, ego-boost from being able to attract multiple partners, etc. But some sex addicts I think have an addiction to the chemicals that are released inside the body during sex (the whole sexual experience), like a person whose body needs the calming/sedative effect of heroin or the blotto effect of alcohol. Then there are people who just are emotionally immature who claim sexual addiction as a way to make their unacceptable behavior somehow not their fault....so that their significant other/spouse can maybe seduced into sympathy for them and forgive them. And I think there's probably a fourth type of sex addict whose body chemistry is changed by a physical disorder or medication which makes them hyper-sexual....though it does seem that we hear most about physical disorders and medications that deaden one's sexuality, the opposite does occur as well.

I don't know what's with Ozzy Osborne, that's up to his wife Sharon and him, and an addiction therapist I suppose.
Lotje1000
Posted: Saturday, August 6, 2016 4:31:42 AM

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The thing that makes something an addiction is the compulsion aspect of it. While sex is usually a pleasurable experience, addiction takes that away. It becomes a need that must be fulfilled and the pleasure itself is secondary.
Chazlee
Posted: Saturday, August 6, 2016 2:20:27 PM
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mactoria wrote:
Chazlee: Don't understand the early responses you got, so I'll just take your posting as serious.

I look at sex addiction with a mix of just personal thinking and decades in the human/social/health field. I think sex addiction is like any other addiction: some people truly have a disorder and some people use it as an excuse for intentional inappropriate behavior so as to avoid negative consequences. Dr Stanger in the article you linked to calls it a "process disorder" which I suppose has support in clinical diagnostic research. Some people's brain circuitry are wired to require something that inordinate frequency and/or socially inappropriate partners provides them: sexual release, emotional gratification, ego-boost from being able to attract multiple partners, etc. But some sex addicts I think have an addiction to the chemicals that are released inside the body during sex (the whole sexual experience), like a person whose body needs the calming/sedative effect of heroin or the blotto effect of alcohol. Then there are people who just are emotionally immature who claim sexual addiction as a way to make their unacceptable behavior somehow not their fault....so that their significant other/spouse can maybe seduced into sympathy for them and forgive them. And I think there's probably a fourth type of sex addict whose body chemistry is changed by a physical disorder or medication which makes them hyper-sexual....though it does seem that we hear most about physical disorders and medications that deaden one's sexuality, the opposite does occur as well.

I don't know what's with Ozzy Osborne, that's up to his wife Sharon and him, and an addiction therapist I suppose.


Mactoria,
Thank you for responding as my posting was indeed serious. I didn't understand one response I got, but I thought the person may have been making a joke which I didn't get.

You've offered a lot for me to think about with this topic.

Peace to you.
Chazlee
Posted: Saturday, August 6, 2016 2:21:29 PM
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Lotje1000 wrote:
The thing that makes something an addiction is the compulsion aspect of it. While sex is usually a pleasurable experience, addiction takes that away. It becomes a need that must be fulfilled and the pleasure itself is secondary.


That actually is a good point.

Peace to you.
pitulush
Posted: Saturday, August 6, 2016 3:50:05 PM

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(in short, what Lotje said)

I think you can be addicted to anything, it's not about the object but about how the addictive behaviour affects you.

I'm just talking about the subjective feeling, not the actual diagnosis of addiction.

Eating food is good – binge eating is not so good; washing hands is healthy – washing them until they bleed, not so healthy; having a relationship is good – depending on someone and feeling you couldn't live without them… you get my point.

I think it's the same for sexual addiction. It's a compulsive behaviour: you have to do it, even if you don't really want to and part of you is trying to fight it. And afterwards you don't necessarily feel good. Maybe it gives you the illusion that it fills a void (a hole, even :D), but only for the moment, then you feel even worse so you need more and more just to get the same "high" or reward.

I think addictions are about not having control, not being able to choose whether to do smth or not. The addiction controls you instead. You can't stop doing that 'something' even when you're way past the point of enjoying it. It becomes what matters to you the most. You have to plan your whole life around it.

As a former smoker, I can say that what was affecting me the most and has made me wanna quit was not the fact that smoking is "inherently bad", but the addiction itself. Even if they had suddenly made cigarettes perfectly healthy (but still addictive, of course) and the smoke from them safe for the environment, I would have still wanted to quit, only to be "free" from the addiction. But of course, not all addicts are the same, that's just the part that bothered me the most (control freak here).

Plus I wouldn't say sex doesn't have any negative side effects: UTIs, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, money spent on protection, having sweat dribbling on you Whistle And a lot of time and energy spent doing it (and thinking about it when you're not doing it), which can be a lot in case of an addiction to sex, to the point where it keeps/prevents you from living your life, having meaningful relationships, doing other things that you'd actually want to do.

And sex when you're addicted to it doesn't sound like fun: "distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used." (DSM-IV-TR)

I'm more curious about gambling – that one seems to me the most irrational of all. I'd like to begin to understand it.
Romany
Posted: Monday, August 8, 2016 11:50:10 AM
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Chazlee -

You aren't alone in wondering about this subject - and I think Mactoria's post gives a pretty good all-round response.

But one thing I remember my mother telling me that has always stuck in my head is this...

When she was doing her nursing training my mother - who was extraordinarily naive about the sex lives of any animals other than dogs& horses - had to do 6 months in a female psychiatric installation for the incurably insane. She was rather amused to be told on her first day that some of the inmates were nymphomaniacs.

Until then the only time she had ever heard the word was in the old sexist joke about the ideal wife being a nymphomaniac deaf mute whose father owned a brewery!

But nymphomania IS a psychiatric illness - and she never forgot it. Some of those women were grey-haired grannies - but their illness made them pitiful: they were completely unable to control the nymphomania and would constantly bare their genitals. Rather shameful for an old lady (and for my mother!) but relatively harmless. Yet it was their behaviour - which I'll spare you! - that made the impression on my mother. She NEVER let anyone get away with making nymphomania into a joke-illness from then on.

The really weird thing though is: - nymphomania (sex addiction) was/is exclusively a FEMALE disease...and a very ancient one!

All these good-looking male actors who get treated for sex addiction? Meh. Let's face it, it's the one kind of rehab they can go into that isn't going to harm their careers. The male fans will nudge and wink and be secretly envious. The female fans will think it enhances their virility.

It may indeed be a male version of nymphomania they suffer?

Yet Russel Brand, for example, says he didn't know why he was going there, really. Just that his people told him this'd be good for him. Asked directly on another occasion if he considered himself to BE a sex addict he laughed genuinely and said "Dunno - I just thinks sex is lovely".

Which is a lovely thing to say; and doesn't sound at all like the sort of thing those poor, tortured women my mother nursed, would be likely to say.
Chazlee
Posted: Monday, August 8, 2016 1:48:53 PM
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Romany wrote:
Chazlee -

You aren't alone in wondering about this subject - and I think Mactoria's post gives a pretty good all-round response.

But one thing I remember my mother telling me that has always stuck in my head is this...

When she was doing her nursing training my mother - who was extraordinarily naive about the sex lives of any animals other than dogs& horses - had to do 6 months in a female psychiatric installation for the incurably insane. She was rather amused to be told on her first day that some of the inmates were nymphomaniacs.

Until then the only time she had ever heard the word was in the old sexist joke about the ideal wife being a nymphomaniac deaf mute whose father owned a brewery!

But nymphomania IS a psychiatric illness - and she never forgot it. Some of those women were grey-haired grannies - but their illness made them pitiful: they were completely unable to control the nymphomania and would constantly bare their genitals. Rather shameful for an old lady (and for my mother!) but relatively harmless. Yet it was their behaviour - which I'll spare you! - that made the impression on my mother. She NEVER let anyone get away with making nymphomania into a joke-illness from then on.

The really weird thing though is: - nymphomania (sex addiction) was/is exclusively a FEMALE disease...and a very ancient one!

All these good-looking male actors who get treated for sex addiction? Meh. Let's face it, it's the one kind of rehab they can go into that isn't going to harm their careers. The male fans will nudge and wink and be secretly envious. The female fans will think it enhances their virility.

It may indeed be a male version of nymphomania they suffer?

Yet Russel Brand, for example, says he didn't know why he was going there, really. Just that his people told him this'd be good for him. Asked directly on another occasion if he considered himself to BE a sex addict he laughed genuinely and said "Dunno - I just thinks sex is lovely".

Which is a lovely thing to say; and doesn't sound at all like the sort of thing those poor, tortured women my mother nursed, would be likely to say.



Romany,

I can just imagine that what your mother actually saw from people who really had a problem controlling their urges, such as the urge to expose themselves to others, is indeed quite different than the urge some guy, like Russel Brand, may feel when he meets a hot young actress, and then acts on an impulse which, let's face it, many other men would likely also do if given the same chance.

What your mother witnessed was undeniably people who were really suffering, but I do believe there are many others in modern society who describe themselves as sex addicts who are not.

Peace to you.
Axel Bear
Posted: Tuesday, August 9, 2016 1:36:48 AM

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In men, hypersexuality is known as satyriasis.

In loose conservation these days, I have heard the word ‘nymphomane’[sic] used as a more acceptable word for ´slut´.



Toute nation a le gouvernement qu'elle mérite: Joseph de Maistre
Axel Bear
Posted: Tuesday, August 9, 2016 10:08:19 AM

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Of course 'conservation' above should be 'conversation'.

Thanks for the PM Jason.



Toute nation a le gouvernement qu'elle mérite: Joseph de Maistre
Priscilla86
Posted: Thursday, August 11, 2016 7:55:53 AM

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Hi, Chazlee!

I think Lotje has summed it up pretty nicely. Just to elaborate a bit, have you watched Shame? It stars Michael Fassbender, among others. His character is a sex addict and at some point in the movie *spoiler alert* his character goes through an emotional situation and he proceeds to have a string of sex sessions one after another non-stop. He doesn't seem to enjoy it, though, so it's more like an impulse that he can't control and it ends up controlling him.

IMHO, If a person likes to have a lot of sex but he can still exercise good caution and common sense, I'd say the person is just hyper-sexual. It's an addiction when you can't control the impulse or you don't think straight anymore that it's affecting your life negatively.


The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
foodadd
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2016 2:54:48 AM
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yes, i think so. I watched the news a lady need 3 times a day
pedro
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2016 9:42:07 AM

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Chazlee
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2016 11:24:38 AM
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Priscilla86 wrote:
Hi, Chazlee!

I think Lotje has summed it up pretty nicely. Just to elaborate a bit, have you watched Shame? It stars Michael Fassbender, among others. His character is a sex addict and at some point in the movie *spoiler alert* his character goes through an emotional situation and he proceeds to have a string of sex sessions one after another non-stop. He doesn't seem to enjoy it, though, so it's more like an impulse that he can't control and it ends up controlling him.

IMHO, If a person likes to have a lot of sex but he can still exercise good caution and common sense, I'd say the person is just hyper-sexual. It's an addiction when you can't control the impulse or you don't think straight anymore that it's affecting your life negatively.



Hi Priscialla86

While I have never watched "Shame," which is a shame, based on what you have written it sounds interesting. It does seem that the character is out of control, and his lack of enjoyment, (just doing an act based on an impulse), is what I always thought was meant by a sex-addiction. Also, as you say, his impuse ends up controlling him, just like what happens with an alcoholic or a drug addict. So, I definately think he is a sex-addict.

Peace to you.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2016 7:57:16 PM

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Hi!

Following on from Romany's comments really, though other replies add more detail.

When I read your original question, my first thought was "load of rubbish" - which I think is true in the cases of the "celebs" you mention.

However, nymphomania and satyriasis (Yeah! I spelled it right first try!) are actual mental aberrations - with some physical (probably glandular) connections.

The basic on addiction is an overwhelming desire for some sort of 'release' or pleasure, which is not achieved or which brings a debilitating opposite effect after a short time.

It's not the 'high' from a drug which produces the addiction, it's the crash afterwards which is so bad you want more of the drug to handle it.

As far as I can tell with "sexual addiction" it is the fact that the 'release' never comes. There is a build-up of tension (which normally is released on orgasm). In a satyr or nymphomaniac the tension builds up, the 'glands' say "a few more seconds of sex and it will feel great" but it doesn't happen. So "can't stop".



Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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