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Which is the correct place for the comma? Options
Koh Elaine
Posted: Saturday, July 15, 2017 9:23:01 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 2,284
Neurons: 9,474
The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20 and, if he survives the cull, it will be his call-up to a national age-group side since his release from prison in the middle of last year.


The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20, and if he survives the cull, it will be his call-up to a national age-group side since his release from prison in the middle of last year.

Which is the correct place to put the first comma? And why, please?

Thanks.
FounDit
Posted: Saturday, July 15, 2017 2:03:46 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 8,158
Neurons: 43,559
Koh Elaine wrote:
The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20 and, if he survives the cull, it will be his call-up to a national age-group side since his release from prison in the middle of last year.


The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20, and if he survives the cull, it will be his call-up to a national age-group side since his release from prison in the middle of last year.

Which is the correct place to put the first comma? And why, please?

Thanks.


Just my opinion, but it seems to me both are wrong. There should be only one comma and it should come after "20".

The sentence is saying two things: the squad will be trimmed to 20, and it will be his call-up to a national age group. But the phrase, "if he survives the cull" can't be omitted, because he must survive it to make the call-up. So this information is needed.


A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Saturday, July 15, 2017 11:20:30 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 26,710
Neurons: 144,725
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
I agree - but my 'reasoning' is slightly different.

It is two sentences 'stuck together'.

The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20. If he survives the cull it will be his call-up to a national age-group side since his release from prison in the middle of last year.

It could, by the normal conventions of commas, have NO comma (often, a comma is not needed with 'and').
However, it's a long sentence and the comma helps break it into the two ideas.

***********
As an added comment - there's something wrong with the use of 'since'.

I could understand either:
The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20, and if he survives the cull it will be his call-up to a national age-group side following his release from prison in the middle of last year.

The soccer squad will eventually be trimmed to 20, and if he survives the cull it will be his first call-up to a national age-group side since his release from prison in the middle of last year.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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