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After leaving the subway station, Kevin was nervous and anxious Options
Nikitus
Posted: Monday, April 17, 2017 9:52:15 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 221
Neurons: 1,016
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Hello.

First of all, thanks for all your help and time.

I want to ask about the following:


"After leaving the subway station, Kevin was nervous and anxious to walk next to that sweet and unknown woman to whom he had offered to help. She looked like a quiet woman who watched the city enthusiastically. To overcome the uncomfortable silence, Kevin tried to find his mind a good topic of conversation. However, he was discarding them one after another because he knew they would not work. Suddenly the woman broke the ice again."



Is it "After leaving the subway station, Kevin was nervous and anxious to walk next to that sweet and unknown woman to whom he had offered to help" correct?

Is it "She looked like a quiet woman who watched the city enthusiastically" correct?

Is it "To overcome the uncomfortable silence, Kevin tried to find his mind a good topic of conversation" correct?

Is it "However, he was discarding them one after another because he knew they would not work" correct?

Is it "Suddenly the woman broke the ice again." correct?



FounDit
Posted: Monday, April 17, 2017 11:17:11 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 7,797
Neurons: 41,156
Nikitus wrote:
Hello.

First of all, thanks for all your help and time.

I want to ask about the following:


"After leaving the subway station, Kevin was nervous and anxious to walk next to that sweet and unknown woman to whom he had offered to help. She looked like a quiet woman who watched the city enthusiastically. To overcome the uncomfortable silence, Kevin tried to find his mind a good topic of conversation. However, he was discarding them one after another because he knew they would not work. Suddenly the woman broke the ice again."



Is it "After leaving the subway station, Kevin was nervous and anxious to walk next to that sweet and unknown woman to whom he had offered to help" correct?
This is difficult because we don't know what has happened. How does he know she is sweet? Did they interact on the subway or the station? Assuming they did, and he decided she had a sweet demeanor, I also must assume he was nervous because he found her attractive. Nervousness would be understandable, but anxiety is usually a different kind of fear, so would not likely be used in this setting.

Then there is the offer of help. As you have it here, we would usually say "offered help" rather than "offer to help", because "offered" is past tense.

To use, "offered to help" would be used in a situation where you are telling the story to someone else. Then you might say, "At the station, I saw a woman struggling with her luggage and I offered to help." Perhaps someone can give you an explanation on the grammar of it.

Is it "She looked like a quiet woman who watched the city enthusiastically" correct?
This doesn't sound quite right because you have her quiet yet enthusiastic. Those don't go together in this sentence. Also, to watch something is to focus on that one thing, but to observe is to look at everything, so that word works better here.
"She quietly observed the city with a keen eye."
would be a better wording. A "keen eye" is a phrase used to mean sharp observation.

Is it "To overcome the uncomfortable silence, Kevin tried to find his mind a good topic of conversation" correct?
Kevin didn't try to find his mind, he tried to find a topic of conversation, so:
"To overcome the uncomfortable silence, Kevin searched his mind for a good topic of conversation"

Is it "However, he was discarding them one after another because he knew they would not work" correct?
As he searched his mind, he discarded one topic after another. So:
"However, he discarded one idea after another because he knew they would not work"

Is it "Suddenly the woman broke the ice again." correct?

To "break the ice" is done at the beginning of a first meeting, or conversation. Here, it would be better to say:
"Suddenly the woman broke the silence again."


A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
Nikitus
Posted: Tuesday, April 18, 2017 3:40:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 221
Neurons: 1,016
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Dear FounDit:

First of all, thanks for your time and help. I will study your answer to improve my written english.

I only have one doubt.

"Nervousness would be understandable, but anxiety is usually a different kind of fear, so would not likely be used in this setting."


If we are talking about a shy guy, that has not luck with women, maybe he can feel some anxiety if he have to talk to a woman?

Thanks.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, April 18, 2017 7:55:18 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,216
Neurons: 131,240
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Hi Nikitus.

There is little difference in the definitions, but in my experience and opinion, there is a small difference in 'time'.

I am nervous now, about what is happening now.
I am anxious now, about what is going to happen soon (or what I imagine may happen soon).

He is walking with the woman, so I would say "Kevin was nervous about walking next to that sweet and unknown woman to whom he had offered help."

If they were standing in the subway station, and had not yet started walking together, I might say "Kevin was anxious about walking with that sweet and unknown woman to whom he had offered help."

As FounDit says, "offered to help" could be used, but the construction would be a little different.

In formal and correct English, it could be "Kevin was nervous about walking next to that sweet and unknown woman whom he had offered to help", but in normal conversational English (and probably in the context of a story as you are telling) "Kevin was nervous about walking with that sweet and unknown woman who he had offered to help." - or just "Kevin was nervous about walking with that sweet and unknown woman he had offered to help."

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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