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Dear Member X: DON'T LEAVE TFD. Options
TheParser
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 7:10:28 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,290
Neurons: 20,123
Dear Member X:

I hear that you are leaving TFD.

It seems that some individuals have been outrageously rude to you.

I am the most abused member in the history of TFD.

If I can take it, so can you.

Currently, I am subjected to abuse by at least half a dozen individuals.

One female, for example, regularly posts snide remarks about my contributions to the "Vocabulary" forum.

One male (and his buddies) just yesterday implied that I am mentally ill. (See the "Vocabulary" thread entitled "Did you take your meds?")

Another male loves to send messages to me such as "Are you sitting in your pajamas typing on your computer in the basement?"

Of course, I always do what all decent members advise: ignore them. (Remember: there is no law that you even have to read their posts.)

Individuals of that kind exist at school and at work. Naturally, they proliferate on the anonymous Web.

Take some time to rest and recuperate.

Then please return to TFD.

You would be delighted to know how many silent members (and guests) support you.



Your friend,


The Parser
Lotje1000
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 7:54:24 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/3/2014
Posts: 811
Neurons: 351,761
Location: Gent, Flanders, Belgium
I think you misunderstand the meaning of 'ignore', TheParser. Describing people vaguely enough that they can still be recognized (but without mentioning names) is not ignoring them. Nor is complaining about these vaguely described forum members.

And no, those vague descriptions can also not be classed as 'polite'.
Absinthius
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 7:58:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/23/2015
Posts: 335
Neurons: 19,401
Location: Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands
This passive aggressive hypocrisy is starting become hilareous though. I am wondering if this isn't just a keeppy kind of thing, endless random ramblings that eventually become sort of funny. Perhaps it's the same guy!

Look, how about this? Let's pretend we've had the row and I've won. See? It saves a lot of effort.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 9:52:40 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 26,242
Neurons: 139,836
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Hello Parser.

Hedy is not leaving TFD because of any insult or disagreement. She is well able to 'hold her own' in a contest of that sort.

It is a personal upset in her life which caused her to decide this.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Ashwin Joshi
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:55:00 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/3/2016
Posts: 1,105
Neurons: 64,281
Location: Jandiāla Guru, Punjab, India
Hello Parser, Hello DragO Sir, It's extrmely painful to know that some honorable member has decided to quit TFD because of rude behavior of some fellow TFDers.

Respectfully, I request the said member to forgive the sinners, for they don't know what they are doing.
If you think, if its hedy who has taken any such incidence to heart, then I request her, 'Please don't quit because the honest and serious learners will be bereft of your credible, prodigious, perfect and valuable advice."



Me Gathering Pebbles at The Seashore.-Aj
Romany
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 12:22:59 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 12,164
Neurons: 36,969
Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom
Parsar, STOP STIRRING!!

This is exactly the same behaviour you spread across this forum to render it toxic previously. It led to the loss of our core Forum members. At the time we 'foreigners' thought your world-view unique to you. But we're much more educated now, through America's media and press conferences. And now we - in every corner of the globe - know where it comes from.

So it's more important than ever that you don't get a free pass to utilise the entire site to broadcast your politics.

You've done it on the Grammar thread, the Legal thread, the Religion and Philosophy thread, the Literature thread, the Vocabulary thread and this one. What on earth is 'Cultural' about your topic? What does it add to our collective 'Knowledge'?

We have been getting this sort of thing all day, every day, from your president; which has now rendered you transparent. And yes, I did just show contempt for the man. As does three quarters of your own country, every other First World country, USA's allies and foes.

And yes, we are all aware that your passive-aggressive technique, vocabulary and syntax is completely lost on our Learners; so you prefer to post 'out in the open' as it were, where you'll get endorsement from L2 speakers. Because they don't understand yet the undercurrents in language, and don't know of your adherence to a racist, misogynist, 'alternative facts', christian extremist culture.

But don't keep using Trump tactics outside of the Politics forum, old sport, - we're all too familiar with them by now. You (and Trump) post something non-factual but which wins you a certain sympathy. It's disputed and You( and Trump) both either blame the fake media or ignore it completely. You then go on the attack; with a string of outrageous and completely fabricated accusations and the 'righteousness' of victims. All that was posted originally, therefore, becomes the Truth - even after it has been disputed and proved wrong.

And if anyone ever explains/demonstrates/proves or suggests that you (or Trump) is wrong then fire them, or completely ignore them.

Right? But the thing is that this takes time, gets acrimonious, needs to be considered...if you're dealing with your peers on the Politics thread. Yeah, especially because you tell us we're all your 'enemies'. And send PMs to those sympathetic to you telling them the same thing.

I know you say you don't read my posts. Yet I've seen you sneak in references to things I've said in your "I'm-a fellow-learner' posts disguised as 'some people'. This is, however, what I want to be on record when Admin reads the thread. Exactly as you, I guess, are equally anxious for them to read what you have written.
















However, whether you want to or not, the fact remains that the rules of this Forum require you to confine your remarks to the subject in hand. Which is a concept most people can wrap their heads around: they can keep to the subject in hand.

Stop trying to influence people all over TFD with your own brand of politics. Take it to the Politics section.

If that's too daunting a prospect? Then keep it to yourself. Go and have an argument with a person in real life. Then come back and talk about Grammar in the Grammar thread and stop making your example sentences into propaganda.
Wilmar (USA)
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 1:50:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/4/2015
Posts: 568
Neurons: 108,116
Location: Vinton, Iowa, United States
Yeah, I get that this isn't the politics page, but, I'm not going to sit here and "listen" to the anti-USA crap.
So, here it is, on the wrong page...

GO TRUMP!

You haters just keep on hating.

Oh, and I had McD's for lunch today.


(Why all the vile today? Wow.)
Харбин Хэйлунцзян 1
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 2:24:09 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/13/2015
Posts: 708
Neurons: 184,411
Location: Dzerzhinskiy, Moskovskaya, Russia
Wilmar (USA) wrote:
GO TRUMP!

Applause

Quote:
Oh, and I had McD's for lunch today.

I go to Mac once in a while:



აბა ყვავებს ვინ დაიჭერს, კარგო? გალიაში ბულბულები ზიან.
almo 1
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 3:41:57 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/16/2016
Posts: 595
Neurons: 2,646
Location: Fussa, Tokyo, Japan

This is not McD's,

it's Denny's in Buffalo,anyway it's sort of fantastic.










Buffalo 66





TheParser
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 5:40:46 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,290
Neurons: 20,123



Hello, DragOnspeaker:

According to my information, it was -- sadly -- the vicious comments from certain members that drove Member X to this decision. (I do not know what they posted, for I do not read the hate-filled comments in that forum.)

They know who they are, and they should be ashamed of themselves. Of course, they are not. Some of them in this forum are castigating me!

I do think that it is time for moderation in these forums.

Of course, NO moderator should be a current or past member: most of them belong to the clique headed by a certain female.

(You notice that she blames the Parsar for everything, not herself and her band of cohorts.)

Since she wants to be so nasty, I can now reveal that I had refused to explain the expression "Did you take your meds?" earlier because I did not want to hurt her feelings. Previously, she had discussed her situation in the "Medicine" forum. I felt sorry for her. As a result, I have refrained from any criticism of her since July, 2016. Now that she has viciously attacked me, I assume that I have the right to defend myself.


Those hypocritical individuals are always referring to the forum rules. Well, I'm pretty sure that forum rules prohibit anything that could hurt the feelings of the mentally ill. You notice that she tries to excuse her buddies by saying that they were being jocular. Mental illness is NEVER jocular. Just ask anyone who knows a mentally ill person!

And since she wants to blame me for scaring away members, then I guess that I have the right to defend myself: Maybe some members are turned off by her. Look at her visceral hate of President Trump in this thread. Look at how she is accuses me of being a racist, sexist, Christian extremist, etc. She is full of hate and is infuriated that I refuse to kowtow to her opinions. MORE people would post their honest opinions, but they are terrified of her. I post relatively few posts. So to blame me for "driving" away members is nonsense. Who cares what I think? She (and a certain male member) is responsible for driving away potential members. Let's tell it as it is!








TheParser
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 5:42:55 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,290
Neurons: 20,123
Ashwin Joshi wrote:
[b] It's extrmely painful to know that some honorable member has decided to quit TFD because of rude behavior of some fellow TFDers.





Yes, it is.

This situation has existed for years.

TheParser
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 5:47:45 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,290
Neurons: 20,123
Wilmar (USA) wrote:







I am thinking about returning to the "Politics" forum.

I know that some members and guests support President Trump, but they are afraid to voice their opinion.

Look at that vicious post directed toward me because I support the President.

She certainly breaks the stereotype of the calm, rational, and fair-minded English person.
whatson
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 7:20:34 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/19/2016
Posts: 179
Neurons: 1,831
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
TheParser wrote:



I am thinking about returning to the "Politics" forum.

I know that some members and guests support President Trump, but they are afraid to voice their opinion.

Look at that vicious post directed toward me because I support the President.

She certainly breaks the stereotype of the calm, rational, and fair-minded English person.


Comic relief was the last thing I expected to find here. Thank you, Parser!
srirr
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 2:00:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 5,106
Neurons: 98,991
Location: Delhi, NCT, India
Well, I do agree with some points of the posts said above, but not all.
First, if I have to say something to someone specifically personal, I should better prefer PM rather than posting in open. One should not try to sensationalize the issue.

We all should agree to disagree with one or more. No issues. Hurling stones and venting out grudges will not make things better. If you do not want, please ignore. And "ignore" should not mean 'to read and not reply'. Ignore here should mean not to read the posts at all. I personally ignore the Politics and Religion section most of the times. And saying this, I do not even click on the threads there. I have my personal reasons.

TheParser said: This situation has existed for years.

True, it existed for years. Many of the good contributors left the forum because they were hurt, not by the difference of opinions but by the way it was posted.

We are humans. I may not like everything you say, neither should I expect from you to like everything I say. But when we do not like ONE THING about someone, we often start disliking the person completely. Try to dislike that thing only. Life will be easier.


We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. ~ Swami Vivekanand
almo 1
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 2:34:29 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/16/2016
Posts: 595
Neurons: 2,646
Location: Fussa, Tokyo, Japan
TheParser wrote:


She certainly breaks the stereotype of the calm, rational, and fair-minded English person.








Yeah, she's erratic.







http://erratic





TheParser
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 3:39:43 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,290
Neurons: 20,123
srirr wrote:
[1] One should not try to sensationalize the issue.



[2] True, it existed for years. Many of the good contributors left the forum because they were hurt, not by the difference of opinions but by the way it was posted.




[1] Sometimes, sadly, things have to be said in the open.

The bullies have become brazen because most members are too terrified to speak out.

[2] Yes, years before I joined TFD, members were complaining of being treated rudely by other members.

Absinthius
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 4:06:26 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/23/2015
Posts: 335
Neurons: 19,401
Location: Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands
Yeah I'm done with this forum, this is getting too tedious.

Bubbais!

Look, how about this? Let's pretend we've had the row and I've won. See? It saves a lot of effort.
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 1:03:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
A thread such as this cannot do anything but foment divisiveness and unpleasantness which drives people away.

Judgmental attitudes and name calling do cause people to push back - as when someone repeatedly calls them an echo chamber of stupidity (betise) and changes their nom de plumes to disparaging ones, just because they disagree with one's politics and religion. You do not get even or have satisfaction by calling the posters names even if they purposely spell your President's name wrong and say things about him you don't like. You get what you give.

Some Newbies have not been on the Forum long enough to know that this is not the first time the whole forum has been disrupted with game playing and attempts to limit free speech with passive-aggressiveness and snide remarks, and now purposely posting Politics everywhere BUT the Politics sub forum because there seems to be some incorrect concept about the need for power on a forum.

There should not even be a "concept of power" on a forum such as this. Anyone can and should post their opinions in the proper sub forums. If someone does not want to get involved and stand up for their own principles, nobody else can do that for them.

I seem to have posted this thread on the following link in the wrong sub forum myself as no one is reading it. It is about the effects being judgmental has on relationships, so perhaps it fits in here. I know every single one of us as human beings has done this. I know I have been guilty of this and expect even this post will come across as judgmental to some when I mean it as explanation and in the hopes of the return to a better feeling on the forum - so Abs can stay. 😇

http://forum.thefreedictionary.com/postst162237_Psychology---Definition-of-Decency-is-Hard-to-Find---Continuing-From-Another-Thread.aspx?find=unread

(Romany, You can take your gloves off - I know you are just frustrated trying to keep the forum civil.)




I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
tunaafi
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 3:35:35 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/3/2014
Posts: 4,135
Neurons: 52,132
Location: Karlín, Praha, Czech Republic
TheParser wrote:

Of course, I always do what all decent members advise: ignore them.


You clearly don't, as your post shows.
tunaafi
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 3:58:21 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/3/2014
Posts: 4,135
Neurons: 52,132
Location: Karlín, Praha, Czech Republic
Ashwin Joshi wrote:
[b]Hello Parser, Hello DragO Sir, It's extrmely painful to know that some honorable member has decided to quit TFD because of rude behavior of some fellow TFDers.


As Drago pointed out, and as hedy herself said in her penultimate post, she is not leaving because of anything that has happened at TFD.
tunaafi
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 5:11:25 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/3/2014
Posts: 4,135
Neurons: 52,132
Location: Karlín, Praha, Czech Republic
TheParser wrote:
most members are too terrified to speak out.



Have you any evidence for that claim?
srirr
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2017 11:00:59 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 5,106
Neurons: 98,991
Location: Delhi, NCT, India
TheParser wrote:
most members are too terrified to speak out.

I too seriously doubt it. I have never felt someone terrified to say something.



We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. ~ Swami Vivekanand
tunaafi
Posted: Friday, February 24, 2017 6:58:40 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/3/2014
Posts: 4,135
Neurons: 52,132
Location: Karlín, Praha, Czech Republic
TheParser wrote:
I am the most abused member in the history of TFD.


That is simply not true.

I (and others) regularly pointed out the racist and sexist nature of some of the posts you submittrd some time ago. We frequently challenged you to provide evidence for some of the claims you made, challenges that you never accepted. This is not abuse.

You have made several untrue claims about me (including one that I submitted a pornographic post about you!) I have denied these claims and said more than once that if you can produce evidence of any of them, I will publicly apologise. You have never attempted to produce any such evidence. If I were more thin-skinned, I might claim that making untrue statements about me is abuse, but I realise you probably can't help it.



Quote:
One female, for example, regularly posts snide remarks about my contributions to the "Vocabulary" forum.


If there has been any snideness, it has been in your thinly-disguised digs, in the Vocabulary forum, at the liberal-thinking members of the forum. The female whose name you cannot bring yourself to mention (Romany) merely asked you to confine your political comments to the Politics forum.


Quote:

One male (and his buddies) just yesterday implied that I am mentally ill.

As several members noted, the expression I (for I am that male whose name you cannot bring yourself to use) used is normally used, and received, in a jocular way. One member suggested "that phrase is often blithely used to imply that the subject has an undesirable cognitive issue of some sort. Another option to denote forgetfulness might be : "Posted before your coffee, did you?" or something similar."
Litvinenko
Posted: Friday, February 24, 2017 8:04:38 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/17/2012
Posts: 176
Neurons: 778
I like you Parser, I like you,and hedy.

A perfect design, with no designer.
TheParser
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2017 7:35:50 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,290
Neurons: 20,123



Thanks, Litvinenko.

That took a lot of guts.

tunaafi
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2017 7:52:18 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/3/2014
Posts: 4,135
Neurons: 52,132
Location: Karlín, Praha, Czech Republic
TheParser wrote:
Thanks, Litvinenko.

That took a lot of guts.


What does that mean? Are you suggesting that it's dangerous for anyone to say they like you?

This is unbelievable, even for you.
TMe
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2017 10:31:35 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/12/2017
Posts: 359
Neurons: 2,299
.......hedy please don't leave TFD.

I am a layman.
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