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Walking to the whiteboard with a marker Options
Nikitus
Posted: Tuesday, February 5, 2019 10:26:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 384
Neurons: 1,876
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Hello.

First of all, thanks for all your help and time to improve my written english.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"Walking to the whiteboard with a marker in her hand, the teacher drew on the left side a sketch of the main components of a painting, to then write on the right side important concepts of the class. Then, she continued to explain the lesson to her students, who were surprised by the strokes and the detail of what was drawn by her teacher."

Thanks.
Parpar1836
Posted: Wednesday, February 6, 2019 12:08:07 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2014
Posts: 358
Neurons: 11,136
Location: Rochester, New York, United States
Holding a marker, Rebecca turned to the whiteboard, and, on the left side, deftly sketched the main components of a painting. On the right side, in large, clear letters, she wrote the main concepts. She continued to expound the lesson to her students, who were impressed by the skill and detail of the sketches.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, February 6, 2019 12:47:43 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 31,327
Neurons: 187,702
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
I know this is not what I would normally say - but I'd add a comma or two, I think. There's no need to change the words, really - though you could if you want.

I changed my mind - instead of commas, just move one phrase and omit a couple of words.

"Walking to the whiteboard with a marker in her hand, the teacher drew a sketch of the main components of a painting on the left, then on the right wrote important concepts of the class. Then(,) she continued to explain the lesson to her students, who were surprised by the strokes and the detail of what was drawn by the teacher."

You could shorten it more "what she'd drawn" rather than "what was drawn by the teacher" and things like that.

However, I think it was already grammatical. I prefer it without the comma I marked in red, but it's not wrong.

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Nikitus
Posted: Wednesday, February 6, 2019 8:50:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 384
Neurons: 1,876
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Dear Parpar1836 and DragOnspeaker:

Thanks for your help and time.

Best Regards

Nikitus.
Parpar1836
Posted: Saturday, February 9, 2019 7:25:29 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2014
Posts: 358
Neurons: 11,136
Location: Rochester, New York, United States
;-)
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