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Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, February 8, 2019 1:50:45 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 5,243
Neurons: 21,647
The presence of leaders and high profile figures from various opposition parties at former People's Action Party (PAP) Member of Parliament and Progress Singapore Party founder Tan Cheng Bock's Chinese New Year open house this year has made waves across social media.

The formation of the new alternative party, which involved "twelve likeminded Singaporeans", among which included "some ex PAP cadres", marked Dr Tan's return to politics after what he brands as "a long absence".

Shouldn't the italicised part be replaced by 'among whom were'?

Thanks.
srirr
Posted: Friday, February 8, 2019 4:12:32 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
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I would say 'among' is not needed at all.

The formation of the new alternative party, which involved "twelve likeminded Singaporeans", among which included "some ex PAP cadres", marked Dr Tan's return to politics after what he brands as "a long absence".

The sentence looks clumsy. If I would say, I would not use 'which' twice here.

The formation of the new alternative party, which involved twelve likeminded Singaporeans including some ex-PAP cadres, marked Dr Tan's return to politics after what he brands as "a long absence".

I would also not prefer to use double inverted commas there, unless it meant something special.



We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. ~ Swami Vivekanand
Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, February 8, 2019 8:33:56 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 5,243
Neurons: 21,647
Thanks, srirr.
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, February 8, 2019 9:29:08 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,694
Neurons: 1,064,793
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Koh Elaine wrote:
The presence of leaders and high profile figures from various opposition parties at former People's Action Party (PAP) Member of Parliament and Progress Singapore Party founder Tan Cheng Bock's Chinese New Year open house this year has made waves across social media.

The formation of the new alternative party, which involved "twelve likeminded Singaporeans", among which included "some ex PAP cadres", marked Dr Tan's return to politics after what he brands as "a long absence".


"Among which included" is definitely wrong. I agree with srirr's suggestion (assuming that it was the 12 Singaporeans (and not a wider group) that included "some ex PAP cadres" - 12 seems a small number to include "some cadres").

The double inverted commas are OK if they are direct quotations.

Also, I don't like the extremely long possessive phrase in the first paragraph (which I have highlighted in blue). I would prefer something like:

The presence of leaders and high profile figures this year at the Chinese New Year open house of Tan Cheng Bock, (the) former People's Action Party (PAP) Member of Parliament and Progress Singapore Party founder, has made waves across social media.
Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, February 8, 2019 10:12:16 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 5,243
Neurons: 21,647
Thanks, Audiendus.
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