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Carmenex
Posted: Friday, October 5, 2018 8:50:54 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 1,002
Neurons: 5,289
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on work. If, for any reason, I will not manage to do it, I will be honest about it (it is clear what "it" is referred to?) with these colleagues, and, therefore, I will follow up with the anyone who can be affected.
renee talley 1
Posted: Friday, October 5, 2018 9:46:42 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/1/2018
Posts: 105
Neurons: 2,376
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FounDit
Posted: Friday, October 5, 2018 11:12:55 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,540
Neurons: 50,645
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
There are a few issues with your word choices, in my opinion.
The first is the idea of striving to "deliver on" work. I suggest changing this to striving to "deliver on my work responsibilities".

Secondly, saying, "I will not manage to do it" creates the idea that you may choose not to honor your responsibility. I think a better choice of words would be "If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks".

And lastly, I think "follow up" should be reworded.

These changes would then read as:
"I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on my work responsibilities. If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks, I will quickly inform any of my colleagues who may be affected".

I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on work. If, for any reason, I will not manage to do it, I will be honest about it (it is clear what "it" is referred to?) with these colleagues, and, therefore, I will follow up with the anyone who can be affected.


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Carmenex
Posted: Friday, October 5, 2018 4:17:00 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 1,002
Neurons: 5,289
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
There are a few issues with your word choices, in my opinion.
The first is the idea of striving to "deliver on" work. I suggest changing this to striving to "deliver on my work responsibilities".

Secondly, saying, "I will not manage to do it" creates the idea that you may choose not to honor your responsibility. I think a better choice of words would be "If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks".

And lastly, I think "follow up" should be reworded.

These changes would then read as:
"I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on my work responsibilities. If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks, I will quickly inform any of my colleagues who may be affected".

I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on work. If, for any reason, I will not manage to do it, I will be honest about it (it is clear what "it" is referred to?) with these colleagues, and, therefore, I will follow up with the anyone who can be affected.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. And, would you suggest not using I will not manage to do it because will can mean want to, or for another reason?
If you use ... unable to ..., should it not be If, for any reason, I will be unable to ...?
Why is follow up not appropriate?
FounDit
Posted: Friday, October 5, 2018 6:04:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,540
Neurons: 50,645
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
There are a few issues with your word choices, in my opinion.
The first is the idea of striving to "deliver on" work. I suggest changing this to striving to "deliver on my work responsibilities".

Secondly, saying, "I will not manage to do it" creates the idea that you may choose not to honor your responsibility. I think a better choice of words would be "If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks".

And lastly, I think "follow up" should be reworded.

These changes would then read as:
"I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on my work responsibilities. If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks, I will quickly inform any of my colleagues who may be affected".

I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on work. If, for any reason, I will not manage to do it, I will be honest about it (it is clear what "it" is referred to?) with these colleagues, and, therefore, I will follow up with the anyone who can be affected.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. And, would you suggest not using I will not manage to do it because will can mean want to, or for another reason?
When it comes to work, or doing your job, "will" isn't the same as "want to". When you use " I will", most often you are saying you will actively make an effort; you put forth force to accomplish, or do. Saying "I will not" implies exerting a force against accomplishing, or doing. The force comes from inside you; you refuse.

Saying, "I will not manage to do it" creates the idea that you refuse to do it. What you want to convey is the idea that something will prevent you, or hinder you. For that reason, I suggested, "I will be unable to manage (or complete)..." Using "unable" suggests some condition acting against you.

If you use ... unable to ..., should it not be If, for any reason, I will be unable to ...?
No, in this you want to show that there is some reason why you cannot perform; a reason that works against you. Using "I will be unable to..." could convey the idea you do not have the power within yourself to do.

Why is follow up not appropriate?

"Follow up" would work if the idea is that your colleagues communicate with you and you respond; you "follow up". But in the case where they depend on you to complete your work, and you are not able to do so, you don't want to wait until they contact you. You want to notify them in advance.


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
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