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Rank: Advanced Member
Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 656
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Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?
Short summary
It follows the lives of six inter-related stories of people who come together for their common love, country and the meaning of being a true Malaysian.
Long summary
The film is comprised of six inter-related stories that tell of the frantic days leading up to the most important election ever in Malaysia. It follows the lives of everyday people, who come together for their common love: their country. Each of the stories shows the meaning of being a true Malaysian.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 32,600
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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
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Hi!
I can tell that you tried two different 'versions' of the first sentence. You have a couple of editing mistakes (which I don't think you would have written, normally). Stories don't have lives. :-)
It's either:
It follows the inter-related lives of six people who come together for their common love: country and the meaning of being a true Malaysian.
or
It follows six inter-related stories of people who come together for their common love: country and the meaning of being a true Malaysian.
I would also use a colon after 'love' (as you have in the long version).
************
Many native speakers make a mistake with "comprise" and "compose". They are different ways of looking at the same thing - but you need to have them the right way around.
The film is composed of six stories, interwoven.
The film comprises six stories, interwoven.
Usage Note: The traditional rule states that the whole comprises the parts and the parts compose the whole. In strict usage: The Union comprises 50 states. Fifty states compose (or make up) the Union. American Heritage
Usage: The use of 'of' after 'comprise' should be avoided: the library comprises (not comprises of) 500 000 books and manuscripts
Collins English Dictionary
Again, there are a couple of points at which I would use a different style - but it's no 'better' than yours.
It sounds like a good film.
Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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Rank: Member
Joined: 8/1/2018
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Rank: Advanced Member
Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 656
Neurons: 3,495
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Thank you for the points.
I think this work better:
The film comprises six inter-related stories that tell of the frantic days leading up to the most important election ever in Malaysia. It follows the lives of everyday people, who come together for their common love: their country. Each of the stories shows the meaning of being a true Malaysian.
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