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Is the sentence correct? Options
Koh Elaine
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2018 10:07:37 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 4,188
Neurons: 16,901
Once constructed, the building will house the first temple we are looking forward to.

Is the sentence correct, especially with regard to the bold part?

Thanks.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2018 11:15:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 29,946
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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Hi Koh Elaine.

That first part "Once constructed" is perfect.

Somehow the last bit doesn't work right - "we are looking forward to". Other phrases and clauses would be OK - but somehow that one doesn't make sense. I think it's because the subject of the clause is "we", when I would expect it to be 'temple.

Once constructed, the building will house the first temple built this century.
Once constructed, the building will house the first temple to have its own swimming pool.

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Koh Elaine
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2018 1:25:49 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 4,188
Neurons: 16,901
Thanks, DragOnspeaker.
thar
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2018 4:44:59 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 17,687
Neurons: 71,557
I also think the problem is your construction of the clause.

It sounds like this is

the first temple you are looking forward to.

as if you dreaded all the others you have built!

The thing is, you don't look forward to a temple.
You don't even look forward to a temple being housed.

You look forward to a temple being used.

So you need to bring in a new idea of what you are actually looking forward to.

Once constructed, the building will house our first temple, and we are looking forward to worshiping in this beautiful building.

Or whatever.

Does that make sense?

renee talley 1
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2018 8:25:44 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/1/2018
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Neurons: 1,928
Whistle Dancing The constructed building will have the first temple once it has past inspection and we are looking forward to it.
Koh Elaine
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2018 11:29:22 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 4,188
Neurons: 16,901
Thanks to all of you.

Hi thar, yes it makes sense.
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