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Schlook Inside
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2018 1:40:17 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 34,412
Neurons: 1,265,840
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, March 29, 2018 3:59:07 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 34,412
Neurons: 1,265,840
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
My psychiatrist told me to write letters to people I hate,then burn them.
Its done.
Now what do I do with the letters.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
jeans&sneakers
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2018 8:07:12 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2011
Posts: 2,723
Neurons: 8,472
Location: Cavite, Calabarzon, Philippines

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. What does it tell you, Holmes?

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idi*t. Someone has stolen our tent!"


At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. Plato
jacobusmaximus
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2018 4:32:54 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/17/2009
Posts: 11,368
Neurons: 410,607
Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom
The wife nagged her husband into taking her mother with them on a safari holiday. They woke up one morning to find a lion had cornered the mother. "What shall we do!", Yelled the wife. "Nothing", said the husband. "The lion got himself into this mess..."

I remember, therefore I am.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2018 12:13:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 34,412
Neurons: 1,265,840
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2018 12:21:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 34,412
Neurons: 1,265,840
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2018 3:28:45 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 7,946
Neurons: 45,769
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
One day in science class

The 8th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,
"Which human body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said,
"You should not be asking 8th graders a question like that!
I'm going to tell my parents,
And they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again,
"Which body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her,
"Boy is she gonna get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Kevin stood up, looked around nervously, and said,
The body part that increases 7 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Kevin," then turned to Mary and continued,
"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

(1) you have a dirty mind,
(2) you didn't read your homework ; and
(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed





The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Anon
jacobusmaximus
Posted: Sunday, July 1, 2018 1:29:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/17/2009
Posts: 11,368
Neurons: 410,607
Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom
tootsie wrote:


And even more hilarious, there are adults who don't know that penguins once could fly and that the
Antarctic wasn't always where it is now.

I remember, therefore I am.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, July 1, 2018 2:29:19 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 34,412
Neurons: 1,265,840
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada







“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Monday, July 9, 2018 10:09:33 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 7,946
Neurons: 45,769
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada




The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Anon
Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2018 12:44:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 34,412
Neurons: 1,265,840
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
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