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Amybal
Posted: Tuesday, June 12, 2018 4:20:35 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 134
Neurons: 795
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?

This is a box set description which contains three movies. The Hantus, The Hantus:BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya-Nabil are movies.

Short summary
This box set includes The Hantus, The Hantus: BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya – Nabil. Follow a unique blend of comedy and horror of an emotional ride of love and loss.

Long summary
This collection includes The Hantus, The Hantus:BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya – Nabil. In The Hantus, after a tragic bus accident, Fami, the sole survivor, struggles to get help until a yellow Volkswagen stops along the highway and takes him on a ride of a ‘lifetime’. Then, watch how the people behind The Hantus created the movie in BTS. In Cerita Ceria Raya- Nabil, the story is inspired by Nabil Ahmad, about his childhood memories that always fights with siblings.
FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, June 12, 2018 11:44:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,011
Neurons: 48,318
Amybal wrote:
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?

This is a box set description which contains three movies. The Hantus, The Hantus:BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya-Nabil are movies.
This is a description is of a box set containing three movies: The Hantus, The Hantus:BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya-Nabil.

Short summary
This box set includes The Hantus, The Hantus: BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya – Nabil. Follow a unique blend of comedy and horror in an emotional ride of love and loss.

Long summary
This collection includes The Hantus, The Hantus:BTS and Cerita Ceria Raya – Nabil. In The Hantus, after a tragic bus accident, Fami, the sole survivor, struggles to get help when a yellow Volkswagen stops along the highway and takes him on the ride of a ‘lifetime’. Then, watch how the people behind The Hantus created the movie in BTS. In Cerita Ceria Raya- Nabil, the story is inspired by Nabil Ahmad, and his childhood memories of fights with his siblings.

Or, "his childhood memories of fighting with his siblings."


A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
Amybal
Posted: Tuesday, June 12, 2018 12:19:11 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 134
Neurons: 795
Thank you FounDit.

In long summary, the last line can I say:

In Cerita Ceria Raya- Nabil, the story is inspired by actor-comedian Nabil Ahmad an early childhood memory of his own.
NKM
Posted: Tuesday, June 12, 2018 4:31:00 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/14/2015
Posts: 4,550
Neurons: 235,017
Location: Corinth, New York, United States
Not without something between something to set off the last phrase.

In Cerita Ceria Raya- Nabil, the story is inspired by actor-comedian Nabil Ahmad, from an early childhood memory of his own.

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