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That night, despite the advise of his friend Options
Nikitus
Posted: Friday, June 8, 2018 10:50:21 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 329
Neurons: 1,591
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Hello.

First of all, thanks your time and help.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"That night, despite the advise of his friend, the ghosts and demons of his past intensified, until they became almost real. The nostalgia and melancholia overwhelmed him, causing his mental state to get even worse. That's why the next morning he walked to the closet and took an old metal box and carefully opened it. Tim placed a wooden amulet around his neck."

Thanks.
thar
Posted: Friday, June 8, 2018 11:02:47 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 17,122
Neurons: 69,146
Check your spelling


Remember a block of ice:
'ice' is a noun, 'is' is a verb.


You have a problem with cause and effect
despite ------, the ghosts came

That means the ghosts came despite the advice that Tim's friend had given them (given the ghosts).
It is missing a logical link.

What was supposed to stop the ghosts?
The advice itself could not stop the ghosts - it must have been something Tim was supposed to do. Did he follow that advice, for example?
Nikitus
Posted: Saturday, June 9, 2018 1:35:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 329
Neurons: 1,591
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
thar wrote:
Check your spelling


Remember a block of ice:
'ice' is a noun, 'is' is a verb.

I will check it, but where is it?


You have a problem with cause and effect
despite ------, the ghosts came

Ok. My intention was write that despite the advice of his friend he still was thinking in his own ghost and the mistakes of the past.

That means the ghosts came despite the advice that Tim's friend had given them (given the ghosts).
It is missing a logical link.

I tried to write that despite the advise of the friend of Tim, he persisted in live in the mistakes of past, in the wrong sense of melancholy

What was supposed to stop the ghosts?

The advice of his friend could make him reflect, to think that he must confront the demons of his past and not live anchored in the melancholy of the mistakes of his past without facing them.


The advice itself could not stop the ghosts - it must have been something Tim was supposed to do. Did he follow that advice, for example?


Tim did not follow the advise and he did not even think about it.


thar
Posted: Saturday, June 9, 2018 5:01:51 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 17,122
Neurons: 69,146
The spelling is what is different in my version - advice.

The 'ice' is a way of remembering how to spell words that have different spellings for the noun and verb. (Yes, when they sound the same, like 'practice' and 'practise' even native speakers find it difficult.)

But it works. Next time, you will know how to spell the noun 'advice' correctly.
advice / advise ............... (these are pronounced differently)
practice / practise .................... (this is hard because they are pronounced the same)
device / devise ..................... (these are also pronounced differently)


It is hard to tell from a single sentence whether your new version makes sense.
You have to be careful about what 'it' refers back to. The last noun in your sentence is 'advice' - so that means he isn't thinking about the advice. But it might be OK - it depends on what nouns or noun phrases you use before this, that 'it' can refer back to.
Nikitus
Posted: Monday, June 11, 2018 1:54:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 329
Neurons: 1,591
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Here is the new version.

Are the following sentences gramatically correct?

"That night, despite the advice of his friend to stop overthinking about what happened last night, the ghosts and demons of his past intensified, until they became almost real. The nostalgia and melancholia overwhelmed him, causing his mental state to get even worse. That's why the next morning he walked to the closet and took an old metal box and carefully opened it. Tim placed a wooden amulet around his neck."

Thanks.
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