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Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, March 22, 2018 4:15:53 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
I figure you don't typewrite anymore.




Where does paper come from grandpa ?

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
El-Jefe
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2018 5:31:52 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/7/2017
Posts: 150
Neurons: 28,239
Location: Kuwait City, Al Asimah Governorate, Kuwait
Hey old man, what are papers made out of?


The waitress still didn't take our order!

...but why?
Luker4
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2018 7:13:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/19/2013
Posts: 4,219
Neurons: 23,746
Location: Wrocław Pracze, Lower Silesian Voivodeship, Poland
That woman keeps ignoring us.






So what's new anyway ?


Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, March 29, 2018 1:47:07 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
What have you been doing lately?








I went for a complete check up.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
IMcRout
Posted: Saturday, March 31, 2018 3:00:47 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,326
Neurons: 558,059
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
I made the doctor do the full monty this time.


The Easter Bunny has given notice over here. S/He's snowed in.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, April 1, 2018 12:13:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
This just in,there will be no easter egg hunt this year,due to the extreme weather forecast.









Looks like the jolly snowman will be filling in for the bunny.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Audiendus
Posted: Wednesday, April 18, 2018 10:01:03 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
It seems that Easter will be a winter festival this year.


Please fasten your seat belts, as we are expecting severe air turbulence.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Wednesday, April 18, 2018 3:29:47 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
Hold on to your hats,the plane will be shaking any minute from now on.








Alas the glass was half empty this time.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, April 20, 2018 7:55:56 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Pessimism prevailed on this occasion.


She is all right once you get to know her.
IMcRout
Posted: Saturday, April 21, 2018 5:09:32 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,326
Neurons: 558,059
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
She'll grow on you once you get more intimate.


In these parts the asparagus harvest ends at the feast of Saint John the Baptist.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Audiendus
Posted: Monday, April 23, 2018 7:54:40 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Here the harvesting of Asparagus officinalis terminates on 24th June.


Zero is an even number.
Audiendus
Posted: Saturday, April 28, 2018 8:37:16 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Nought is divisible by two without a remainder.


I found a long-forgotten suitcase in the attic.
Audiendus
Posted: Monday, May 7, 2018 11:49:08 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
In the loft, I discovered an old valise which nobody knew was there.


You wouldn't believe what some people get up to.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Monday, May 7, 2018 4:24:49 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
Its incredulous to see what folks rise up for.






The absent minded genius discovered a remedy for amnesia.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2018 7:51:12 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,164
Neurons: 46,993
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
The unmindful mensa member cured forgetfulness.

I wish it were true.

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
IMcRout
Posted: Friday, May 11, 2018 9:53:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,326
Neurons: 558,059
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Fat chance!


Precipitation in Spain now favours the hills.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, May 11, 2018 8:21:40 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Precipitation in the Spanish nation falls mainly at elevation.


More's the pity.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2018 2:27:55 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
Sorry to hear that.





The judge was sent to jail.


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Audiendus
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2018 8:49:40 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
The Recorder was incarcerated.


Some people regard any criticism as a personal insult.
Luker4
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2018 1:51:20 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/19/2013
Posts: 4,219
Neurons: 23,746
Location: Wrocław Pracze, Lower Silesian Voivodeship, Poland
Some people don't appreciate the value of negative feedback.





I bought the CDs by myself.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2018 1:33:46 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
I purchased the CDs all by my lonesome.






The classy woman married a bum.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, May 19, 2018 10:56:54 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,164
Neurons: 46,993
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
The lady married a shiftless man.

Lemon candy is tasty.

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Schlook Inside
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2018 3:33:16 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
I enjoy eating citrus flavored sweets.


He is a self taught musician.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Luker4
Posted: Monday, May 28, 2018 4:40:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/19/2013
Posts: 4,219
Neurons: 23,746
Location: Wrocław Pracze, Lower Silesian Voivodeship, Poland
He taught himself how to be a musician.




The hot weather is killing me.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Monday, May 28, 2018 5:13:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
I can't stand this heatwave we are having.






Does the full moon affect you?

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Monday, May 28, 2018 10:28:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,164
Neurons: 46,993
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Do you howl at the moon?

It is fun to go shopping, especially if you have money.



Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Schlook Inside
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2018 2:42:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada








The trouble with Bob is that he is your uncle.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Luker4
Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2018 8:32:03 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/19/2013
Posts: 4,219
Neurons: 23,746
Location: Wrocław Pracze, Lower Silesian Voivodeship, Poland
I got bad news for you woman, that guy you just slept with is your relative!








Had she known that, she wouldn't have done it.
Audiendus
Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2018 9:08:29 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
She would have refrained from doing so if she had been in possession of the relevant information.


But she didn't seem particularly upset about it.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2018 11:38:51 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
She didn't express any remorse.






They carried on about it for a long time.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2018 8:53:25 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
They persisted for ages.


His glittering political career came to an abrupt and ignominious end.
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, June 2, 2018 3:09:32 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,164
Neurons: 46,993
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
His brilliant life profession ended quickly and with humiliation.

He was fired!

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, June 2, 2018 3:53:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 35,004
Neurons: 1,311,280
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
They gave him the pink slip.




He got a better job but nobody liked him.

“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Wednesday, June 13, 2018 9:00:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,164
Neurons: 46,993
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
The coworkers at his recent employment thought he was not personable.

What is that noise?

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Audiendus
Posted: Thursday, June 14, 2018 7:52:14 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 5,085
Neurons: 907,816
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
I wonder what that sound is.


There's always something odd going on in this place.
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