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Sophia Alexandrova
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 3:38:50 AM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 41
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Location: Moscow, Moscow, Russia
Hi!

I would be grateful if you could advise me if the sentense sounds ok.

Communication has always been the lifeblood of the existence of human kind and words are definitely what makes the world go round.

Thanks in advance!
pjharvey
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 3:57:48 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/13/2012
Posts: 863
Neurons: 52,960
"The existence of human kind" sounds as a repetition to me. I'd shorten it.
Communication has always been the lifeblood of human existence, and words are definitely what makes the world go round.
The comma before "and" is required because the two clauses have different subjects.
palapaguy
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 11:27:07 AM

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Location: Calabasas, California, United States
Agree!
thar
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 11:45:05 AM

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Joined: 7/8/2010
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Also, it is one word - humankind.
Sophia Alexandrova
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 1:22:36 PM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 41
Neurons: 14,188
Location: Moscow, Moscow, Russia
pjharvey wrote:
"The existence of human kind" sounds as a repetition to me. I'd shorten it.
Communication has always been the lifeblood of human existence, and words are definitely what makes the world go round.
The comma before "and" is required because the two clauses have different subjects.


Thanks!
Sophia Alexandrova
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 1:23:04 PM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 41
Neurons: 14,188
Location: Moscow, Moscow, Russia
thar wrote:
Also, it is one word - humankind.


Thanks!
coag
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2018 2:17:36 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/27/2010
Posts: 1,034
Neurons: 5,320
To me, the sentence is awkward.

If I saw something like "communication is essential for human life", I wouldn't object. But "Communication has always been the lifeblood of human
existence", that's an awkward metaphor.

"words are definitely what makes the world go round."
There are many things that make the world go round. If you want, you could just say that words are one of them. Also, there is no need to strengthen your opinion using "definitely".

Sophia,

My comments are friendly and related to the writing style. I am not trying to be a smarty-pants.
pjharvey
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2018 3:36:32 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/13/2012
Posts: 863
Neurons: 52,960
coag wrote:
To me, the sentence is awkward.

If I saw something like "communication is essential for human life", I wouldn't object. But "Communication has always been the lifeblood of human
existence", that's an awkward metaphor.

"words are definitely what makes the world go round."
There are many things that make the world go round. If you want, you could just say that words are one of them. Also, there is no need to strengthen your opinion using "definitely".

Sophia,

My comments are friendly and related to the writing style. I am not trying to be a smarty-pants.


I agree!
TMe
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2018 4:42:44 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/12/2017
Posts: 647
Neurons: 4,220
Applause Applause Applause

I am a layman.
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