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"Who's On First?" Options
hedy mmm
Posted: Monday, March 06, 2017 9:57:12 PM

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Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
"Who's On First?" Sketch was performed by Abbott & Costello...please read Monday, March 6th, "Today's Birthday" of Lou Costello.

The names given in the routine for the players at each position are:
First Base: Who
Second Base: What
Third Base: I Don't Know
Left field: Why
Center field: Because
Pitcher: Tomorrow
Catcher:Today
Shortstop: I Don't Care/I Don't Give a Darn

The name of the shortstop is not given until the very end of the routine, and the right fielder is neveridentified. In the Selchow and Righter board game, the right fielder's name is "Nobody".

At one point in the routine, Costello thinks that Naturally is the first baseman:

Abbott: You throw the ball to first base.
Costello: Then who gets it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Well, that's it—say it that way.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You did not.
Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott's explanations leave Costello hopelessly confused and infuriated, until the end of the routinewhen Costello finally appears to catch on.
Costello: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Whopicks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back toTomorrow—a triple play.
Abbott: Yeah, it could be.
Costello: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third, and Idon't give a darn!
Abbott: What was that?
Costello: I said, I DON'T GIVE A DARN!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop!

The skit was usually performed on the team's radio series at the start of the baseball season. In one instance it serves as a climax for a broadcast which begins with Costello receiving a telegram from Joe DiMaggio asking Costello to take over for him due to his injury. (In this case, the unidentified rightfielder would have been Costello himself. However, this is unlikely, seeing how DiMaggio was a centerfielder, which is Because in this skit.)

THIS THREAD IS IN MEMORY OF JOE DIMAGGIO, BUD ABBOTT & LOU COSTELLO....May they Rest in Peace.......hedy
Pray


"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Monday, March 06, 2017 10:00:21 PM

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Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
It is a funny sketch even to someone like me who does not know baseball at all.


I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
Eoin Riedy
Posted: Monday, March 06, 2017 11:18:19 PM

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Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States
The President of China is Xi Jinping. His surname Xi is pronounced like the word 'she' in a rising tone.

Abbott: Now the first thing you need to know is that Xi is the President of China.
Costello: Who is she?
Abbott: No. Xi was Hu's vice-president.
Costello: Whose vice-president was she?
Abbott: Exactly. Now Xi is the president.
Costello: The president of China is a woman?
Abbott: No, Xi is a man.
Costello: Who is a man?
Abbott: He is, too.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Right.
srirr
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 1:53:30 AM

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Location: Delhi, NCT, India
Ha Ha Ha Ha,.......Applause
That's interesting, in fact, hilarious. This reminds me of an quite old joke (with due respect to all)...

It was when George W. Bush was the US President and Hu Jintao was the newly elected leader of China and Kofi Annan was Secretary General of the UN.

Scene: The Oval Office. Conversation between George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu。
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' ask me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too.
========================

We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. ~ Swami Vivekanand
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 3:43:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 39,140
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Thank you all for the laughs ;-)


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
OnTheVerge
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 3:49:41 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/7/2014
Posts: 219
Neurons: 384,065
Location: San Francisco, California, United States
srirr wrote:
Ha Ha Ha Ha,.......Applause
That's interesting, in fact, hilarious. This reminds me of an quite old joke (with due respect to all)...

It was when George W. Bush was the US President and Hu Jintao was the newly elected leader of China and Kofi Annan was Secretary General of the UN.

Scene: The Oval Office. Conversation between George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu。
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' ask me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too.
========================




Think Whistle Applause Applause Applause Whistle Whistle Whistle BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO Dancing Dancing Applause Whistle Applause Dancing Whistle Applause Think

The world will never starve for want of wonders, but only for want of people who wonder.
TheParser
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 7:45:07 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2012
Posts: 4,591
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I join other members and guests, Hedy, in thanking you for this post.

That dialogue (along with the dialogues contributed by other members) was hilarious.

Thanks for helping us to start off the day with a smile and a laugh.
hedy mmm
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 10:01:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 897
Neurons: 411,793
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
TheParser wrote:
I join other members and guests, Hedy, in thanking you for this post.
That dialogue (along with the dialogues contributed by other members) was hilarious.
Thanks for helping us to start off the day with a smile and a laugh.


Thank you TheParser, yes it was a wonderful way to remember Lou Costello's birthday.

Thanks OnTheVerge, srirr and Eoin Riedy on your additions...they were very funny...I'm going to share them.

Sarrriesfan, thank you for your comment....it's never too late to learn about baseball....I don't particularly like the game (did I say that out loud?)...I prefer soccer or even football, however my son is an electrician (journeyman) and he is assigned to Yankee Stadium (which is in the Bronx), because he's not distracted by the game when he's working!

So, in case my son, finds out I'm not an allout Yankee fan, I will say "YANKEES ARE BORING...I MEAN, YANKEES ARE THE BEST"...Dancing Dancing so no squealin'! Silenced

"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 10:08:01 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 696
Neurons: 4,473
Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
hedy mmm wrote:
TheParser wrote:
I join other members and guests, Hedy, in thanking you for this post.
That dialogue (along with the dialogues contributed by other members) was hilarious.
Thanks for helping us to start off the day with a smile and a laugh.


Thank you TheParser, yes it was a wonderful way to remember Lou Costello's birthday.

Thanks OnTheVerge, srirr and Eoin Riedy on your additions...they were very funny...I'm going to share them.

Sarrriesfan, thank you for your comment....it's never too late to learn about baseball....I don't particularly like the game (did I say that out loud?)...I prefer soccer or even football, however my son is an electrician (journeyman) and he is assigned to Yankee Stadium (which is in the Bronx), because he's not distracted by the game when he's working!

So, in case my son, finds out I'm not an allout Yankee fan, I will say "YANKEES ARE BORING...I MEAN, YANKEES ARE THE BEST"...Dancing Dancing so no squealin'! Silenced


A funny sketch is a funny sketch, and I have always like Abbot and Costello.

The sport I follow is Rugby Union, my team is Saracens Rugby Football Club, hence my screen name
There is not a lot of baseball here in the UK, some I guess but the bat and ball game most play is cricket, nothing like spending 5 days watching a Test match that can be rained off as a draw at the end.Whistle



I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
Ashwin Joshi
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 10:51:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/3/2016
Posts: 1,247
Neurons: 66,421
Location: Jandiāla Guru, Punjab, India
Excellent Grammar.

Me Gathering Pebbles at The Seashore.-Aj
FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 11:59:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 8,165
Neurons: 43,628
Excellent! Love a good laugh.

A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
Andrew Schultz
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 2:31:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/7/2015
Posts: 376
Neurons: 733,142
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
Can we fit one more in here? I've seen this various places & hope others enjoy it too.

http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/hlife.html

Quote:
This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.


I particularly enjoy the idiom section of this fine website.
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 2:48:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,969
Neurons: 40,475
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Ah the good memories! And some new skits here too!

Equality is when you see a person - not a label.
almo 1
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 3:00:24 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/16/2016
Posts: 889
Neurons: 3,972
Location: Fussa, Tokyo, Japan
thar
Posted: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 7:08:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 15,768
Neurons: 63,052
At the risk of comedic approbium, and with all respect to Mssrs A and C and all those who love this, can I say, just out of cultural interest, that I don't find that sketch particularly funny? A thin joke worn a bit too hard, a dislikable aggressive character?
(No offence, and I certainly don't mean to be a downer on a humorous thread - I am just interested to know if this is a cultural thing. )
The thing is, I find most things funny (even those not meant to be) - I think I may have seen some A and C I found humorous [ mummies, is it?Think ] but it clearly mad no great impression - but certain icons of comedy just leave me naah, - this from A and C, the Three Stooges, and, dare I state this here, Charlie Chaplin? Don't do it for me. Too aggressive, too manipulative? Too something.

Big fan of Harold Lloyd for the physical, and I guess Laurel and Hardy for pathos; but for wordplay, not much beats the Marx brothers.Whistle

I am sure there are loads of examples better than this, but it came up first.
https://youtu.be/p0Gwe5gKgjo
almo 1
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 12:03:10 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/16/2016
Posts: 889
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Location: Fussa, Tokyo, Japan




"They said we wouldn’t make it to the postseason.

They said we wouldn’t beat the Twins.

They said we would get swept by the Indians.

They said we had zero chance.

All we did was prove them wrong."





https://twitter.com/Yankees/






hedy mmm
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 12:33:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 897
Neurons: 411,793
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
almo 1 wrote:

"They said we wouldn’t make it to the postseason.

They said we wouldn’t beat the Twins.

They said we would get swept by the Indians.

They said we had zero chance.

All we did was prove them wrong."

You are so right almo 1...NY Yankees are AWESOME, just like Abbot & Costello's sketch, "Who's On First"...thanks for the post of my thread from March 7th. Brought back nice memories...and it just proves once again that the 'they' are usually wrong! Applause

BTW My son is an electrician at Yankee Stadium so guess who can see every game? Dancing
hedy

"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
hedy mmm
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 9:48:53 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 897
Neurons: 411,793
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
Today's "In the News" topic 'Could a Home Run Produce Gravitational Waves?' Is a MUST READ.
I know you'd appreciate it almo 1, for I pulled a quote relating to baseball, while we entertain the topic and revel in the NY Yankees win!

"Einstein's theory of general relativity predicted that any accelerating mass has the potential to generate gravitational waves. This means that theoretically even a baseball hit off a player’s bat could produce ripples in the fabric of space-time. But how big are these ripples?"

Answer:
They are tiny, tiny ripples...but who cares? Probably just the trio that won the Nobel Peace Price in Physics...I wonder how much baseball they watch? Think

Great news item Daemon...thank you Applause
hedy

"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
almo 1
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 10:02:23 AM
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Joined: 10/16/2016
Posts: 889
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Location: Fussa, Tokyo, Japan
Hi heddy,
tunaafi used hiragana.


I'm not a teacher, but it has a mistake.
It should be:

わたし も あなた あいしてます




You can try typing hiragana with this.




also youtube.com/How to Say "I Love You"


**************

edit:
oops, you deleted that.



edit:
Oops, I mistook the thread!

This was it: http://forum.thefreedictionary.com/postsm1001074_Monocotyledon.aspx#1001074









tunaafi
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 10:16:19 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/3/2014
Posts: 4,420
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Location: Karlín, Praha, Czech Republic
Wrong thread, almo.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 1:13:36 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 39,140
Neurons: 284,979
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland


If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1".

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".......




In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
hedy mmm
Posted: Thursday, October 12, 2017 1:53:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 897
Neurons: 411,793
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
Oh, I absolutely love it Jyrkkä Jatkä! Applause Applause

Did you make this one up? I can just imagine if the 'mouse' came into the dialogue...Costello would freak if he was told he'd have to buy a mouse!

Thanks...I'm going to copy it and share it with my friends... this was fun! Dancing
hedy





"God graced us with today....don't waste it." hedy
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